"Camplains"

Have you ever wonder why I've been on blog so frequent these days. Yeah, one of the reason is because I'm working on a blog for the company and main reason is that I'm totally bored and free. Most of the time because of busy doing stuff, tired having rest or somehow having activities with others that keeps me away from blogging. Then I realized that there are actually so little things that I can do when I'm actually free and there are not much friends that have the same interest that I can hang out with. So, I often kept myself alone.

Some says that computer freaks are like that but I don't see how it really was. Somehow if people are computer freaks, they hang out with the game freaks instead. I feel very pity for myself, so little friend in life and so little interest that I can do when I'm free. Now I realized that if you spent too much time in working and studying, many things that you have forgone. I'm one of the good example. It sounds really weird but I'm not a social & network type of guy, but I tent to be appealing just covering, packaging and marketing myself. haha... what a joke!

I don't know, just felt kinda lonely these days. Should I be more open and stop thinking about things. I'm am definitely a thinking freak. Every time I close my eyes when I'm in bed, I think of many things. Work, studies, money, people and I even imagine many things. Maybe we can say it in this way, I tell myself bedtime stories sometime. Definitely is a bad thing! Its great if I can fall asleep easily but no, I have to get myself tired, thinking about these stuff and I'm very tired, really really tired. Today, I did the same thing again. Then I went online and no one I feel to talk to. There I go, I make my own story here, talking to myself. Kinda sad having life like this, only work and studies lights up my life. Even if entertainment, I think sometimes I'm glad that I had fun with friends but most of the time, I enjoy cooking for myself, watching movies or series and just lay on the bed and think.

Is this a problem or is a normal thing for everyone? I like attention but I hate being in a crowd and going out. I enjoy eating out but I hate going out alone! Should I just start socializing start finding the other person? I think I'm coward to go "out" and that's why I ended up telling stories here. Changing my thinking and just try anything? What was in my mind is that I don't want to try and fail, I just don't risk. Sometimes I even wish for the right one to come but always those that are not. Is really not easy being in this type of community. You can never tell the people beside you are one of it until they ask you "out". If you are one, you should know what I'm talking about. I don't want stuff like that. I enjoy shopping, movies, eating out and most important thing is to talk, to know people. That's why I rejected some.

Now I really miss my family, the house, the baby, my mom and her cooking of course. That's the only thing I have and I really enjoy. It's really good to stay at home during this holiday because I'm being taken care of. However, as when I'm home, I do not think like that. People are like that, they won't treasure when they have things. Now I'm getting trouble to really fall asleep, is there anyone out there?