It's been a week since year three semester one final exam passes. I spend most of the time at home, wondering, sleeping, watching tv and keep on Facebook. Although there are plenty of work that I should do but it seems that I keep on giving myself reasons to waste time. I'm not doing very good in the previous semester and I do hope that it would be lucky for me to achieve 3.0 CGPA. Lazy guy with a big desire!
Actually, it is really confusing week. I spent time thinking about many things. Of course, one of it is my project and I was worrying that I have submitted a plan that I cannot achieve. I just not sure that what I have done and this simple plan contains many things that I do not know. I should start working on things instead. Oh, not forgetting, I have done a lot of blogs this week and that's I'm worrying about too. Perhaps I can say that I have lost my passion for doing these stuff for my brother although there are money to earn. But he didn't pay me for many months already and I have totally forgot about that money. Holiday, no pocket money and I wanted to go shopping so much.
Thinking about money, I dream of what kind of work that I like most for my future. I think I should have started planning for my graduation and I was thinking how to re-decorate the room when I'm back for graduating. It seems that I have been dreaming too early and there are still a long way to go. I was thinking how can I help my brother to manage his bridal house but there are many things that he wouldn't want to share. I don't know that whether I'm jealous but definitely, it is one of the thing that interest me. I have many ideas to share but I was afraid to tell because overall, it is his business, not mine, how would he thinks and how well he can listen to people and try new things? So, I took a different consideration of going into some work that involve events organizing. I think it would be fun and when I have my own capital, I wanted my own cafe!
However, thinking about my dream, I would once question myself, who will I share it with? There is this person that came into my life these days. I cannot tell how deep this person falls for me but it really makes me headache. It is hard to trust someone from Facebook and we only went out once. I heard many stories from this person and definitely, I never lie. I didn't expect a person that is older than me and I was hoping to have someone that are appealing. But overall, the important thing is the feel and how well the opposite partner actually cares about me. This person tells me sweet words and missing me a lot but I don't feel the passion in between and to chase over it. I remember this person told me in msn "I really like you de" but how well this person really knows about me? If so, why is it very hard to propose to have a relationship instead? As long as I cannot make sure our relationship, I treated this relationship as friendship until today. We have conversation in msn but addressing each other "dear" hunt me with lots of question about trusting this person. Will it be different from others to have a relationship or a relationship doesn't requires sms or phone calls, skipping a step of puppy love? Will it be a relationship that we will miss each other when the opposite are needed for sex? I don't get it and I really do not know about it!
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